Meet the Parents
by JezTheHuntress
Summary: Morgead meets Jez's aunt and uncle. What could go wrong?


"Hon, is Morgead allergic to anything?"

Oh, Goddess. Jez glanced up from her phone to see Aunt Nan pondering over what looked like very fancy ingredients. She sighed. "Aunt Nan, you're overthinking it. Morgead isn't going to care what you cook, trust me. He isn't that kind of guy."

Aunt Nan tutted at Jez as if she were a small child. "The way to man's heart is through his stomach."

Jez shot her the Glare of Death as soon as her back was turned to the stove. "I don't even see why it's so important for you to find the way to his heart. I mean, _I _know the way to his heart. So why do you guys have to meet him? It's ridiculous."

Aunt Nan grabbed a bottle of olive oil and drizzled it over some as-of-yet-uncooked asparagus. "We just want to see what kind of boy you're dating, is all. We're your parents now, and we're going to act like it. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. Fine. I didn't even mean it like that."

Jez irately scratched at her wrist. She had the jitters. The boyfriend-is-about-to-meet-the-parents jitters. It was so stupid, stupid, stupid, too. She was a member of Circle Daybreak; she was supposed to be an expert at keeping the Night World a secret. How did her aunt and uncle manage to find out she was dating someone?

It started when Ricky overheard her talking on the phone to him. Amazingly, Claire had _not _been the one to rat her out this time. Claire had even agreed to not tell her parents anything, as a matter of fact. In a bizarre turn of events, Jez and Claire were actually becoming fairly close friends. It was so weird that sometimes Jez had to remind herself that Claire had helped save her life, sort of.

Not that Ricky knew about any of that, and Jez preferred to keep it that way. Alas, Jez had a big mouth. Sometimes she wondered if that was literal in her case. She talked too much, and worse still, she talked _loudly. _Loudly enough for Ricky to think it was okay to listen in a private conversation that may or may not have been about the color of her underwear.

The brat.

It all went downhill from there, until finally, one night, Jez was in her room – actually doing her homework for once – and Aunt Nan and Uncle Jim completely ambushed her. It was a trap. They were meeting Morgead one way or another.

Jez lifted her phone like a shield for her face so that Aunt Nan wouldn't be able to tell how worried she was. She texted Morgead a quick, "hey, babe. ur gonna do gr8 ;)."

Aunt Nan put a hand on her arm. Great. Now she had an olive oil stain on her sleeve. "Sweetie, I know you're nervous. But honestly, I'm sure that if you're dating him, he's a real catch."

Jez smiled sweetly. "Thanks, but I'm not nervous. Morgead's great, you'll love him."

After Aunt Nan pulled away from a hug to go grab some spices from the cabinet, Jez texted furiously, "but don't u dare wear ur leather jacket."

Snapping her phone shut, she hopped down from the counter to go change into a clean shirt.

Fifteen minutes later, a roaring sound alerted Jez of Morgead's approach. She ran to the window and pressed her nose up against the glass surface. She caught a glimpse of Morgead's bike coming to halt against the curb just before her breath fogged up the glass.

Jez threw the door open and dashed out to the porch, where Morgead was just walking up the steps in a black T-shirt and dark jeans. Oh, dear lord. Really?

Slinging an arm around Morgead shoulder, she whispered in his ear, "Couldn't you have worn something nicer?"

He took in her appearance. She knew she looked ridiculous in a blouse, and she expected him to comment on it, but he just said in a sour tone, "Can you please just, like, not comment on it? I'm already really nervous."

Wow. For him to be admitting it must mean it was really serious. Jez smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Morgead. I'm nervous too."

They got to the door where Aunt Nan was waiting with her oven mitts still on. Jez thought she looked so sweet all frazzled like that.

"Hi, Mrs. Redfern. I'm Morgead." Morgead stuck out his hand for her to shake. Jez nearly giggled. From amusement or nerves, she didn't know.

"Actually, Morgead, it's Mrs. Goddard, but you can call me Nanami." Aunt Nan shrugged off her oven mitt and gave Morgead a hand-shake back.

"Sorry, Nanami."

Apparently there were only two things in the world that scared Morgead Blackthorn. Lily Redfern and Jez's relatives. Who could've guessed?

Aunt Nan smiled kindly and shut the door behind him. "Just have a seat at the table. Everyone's waiting for you there. I'll be out with the food in a moment."

Jez and Morgead marched in military manner over to the dining table, careful not to hold each other anywhere other than the hands, lest Uncle Jim immediately be resentful of him. They sat side-by-side, with Claire and Ricky across from them, and Aunt Nan and Uncle Jim's seats on either end of the table. Jez was glad that she would be able to give Morgead supportive hand-squeezes beneath the table.

Uncle Jim put his napkin in his lap, as did Jez, while Morgead obliviously set his elbows on the table. Jez bit her lip, furiously trying to keep her cool. If these little things were going to set her off all night, she might as well just shoot herself now and get it over with.

"So, Morgead," said Uncle Jim pleasantly, clasping his hands. "Was that your motorcycle I heard coming up our street?"

"Yes, sir."

"Uncle Jim, I have a bike, too, you know. It's not a problem."

"No, of course not," Uncle Jim said, waving a hand dismissively. "And please, call me Jim."

Thank the Goddess Uncle Jim wasn't going all over-protective-dad on her. Jez smiled at him, and then at Aunt Nan as she brought in the meal. As soon as she saw what it was, though, her heart sank. Oh, no. She groaned inwardly.

It wasn't that it didn't look absolutely delicious. In fact, that was the problem. Aunt Nan had outdone herself. What she cooked for them wasn't dinner, it was some sort mega-meal – it was a feast. Now the whole thing seemed like an event instead of just some sort of casual meeting thing, which was not helping at all.

Jez allowed her silvery-blue eyes to wander over the selection laid out before her – the carefully seasoned grilled chicken, the beautifully sautéed asparagus, the light and fluffy mashed potatoes, the homemade pudding that had been chilled to perfection. She wanted to bang her head on the table.

From there, just about everything that went wrong did. Uncle Jim reminded Jez of her curfew, Aunt Nan complimented her own cooking, Claire asked him way too many personal questions, and Ricky proudly let everyone know that he had interviewed Jez in order to establish Morgead's favorite hobbies and see if they were the same as his. Uncle Jim did not smile once, and finally, the very worst thing that could possibly happen happened.

During a lull in the conversation, Aunt Nan put her fork down and turned to Morgead. "So, how long have you been seeing each other?"

Jez pursed her lips and counted on her fingers. "About three months now. Do you think that's right? Three months?"

Morgead shrugged. "I suppose so."

Aunt Nan continued in a light, conversational tone, "That makes sense. You know, I wasn't sure, seeing as how you've been keeping each other a secret."

Keeping a perky smile plastered across her face Jez said forcefully, "I don't really think that's an appropriate topic for the dinner table."

Oh, how she'd regret her choice of words.

"No, you know what's inappropriate?" Aunt Nan's voice was still bright and cheerful and utterly ignorant, like she didn't even realize how horrifying what she was saying was. "What you were talking about when Ricky overheard your phone conversation."

Pert, sprightly, bouncy Jez was forgotten in an instant. "Oh, my Goddess, he _told_ you?"

"Now, Jez, this isn't Ricky's fault."

"He was just trying to do the right thing."

"As if! He was mad at me for keeping Morgead a secret!"

"This is a nice meal, Mom."

"No, Jez, I was just worried about you."

"Oookay," Claire finally interrupted. "Like you said, Mom, maybe this isn't such a great thing to talk about at the dinner table. In front of Ricky. And Morgead. And even me. We don't want to hear about."

Adopting a doting, motherly tone, Aunt Nan just said, "I'm just saying, you guys, it's fine over the phone, but if it's not only limited to that, you should be careful. Are you being careful?"

"AUNT NAN!" Jez thundered. She wanted to continue, but all she could do was gape awkwardly at her aunt.

"Wow, Mom, this was a great meal," Claire said. She stood up abruptly and started to collect everyone's plates, looking daggers at Ricky when he started to protest. "What a great, eventful, fun night for everyone. Oh, my, is that really the time? Morgead, don't you have a curfew?"

"Yep."

"Geez Louise, I didn't even realize how late it was. Gosh, maybe you should get going. I'm sure your folks are worried sick." Claire opened the door for him.

Morgead attempted a smile at everyone that came out as more of a grimace, and stepped outside. Jez followed after him.

When they were finally alone on the porch, Jez sank into Morgead's arms. "Oh, honey, that was hell," she moaned into his chest.

Morgead ran a hand up and down her back. "I don't think your aunt and uncle like me, Jez."

"That's not true!"

"They didn't like the way I dressed. Or the fact that I drive a motorcycle. Or my general attitude, even though I tried really hard to be polite."

"I know you did. That was the most civil I've ever seen you."

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to get it right."

Jez stood straight and gave him a stern look. "Of course you will. Of course you will. And even if you don't get it exactly right, they better get used to you, because you're here to stay. We're soulmates. Made for each other and all that junk."

"Jez, my beautiful soulmate," Morgead said, looking into her eyes. She was struck by how green his own were, just like she always was, no matter how many times she saw them. "I know tonight completely sucked. But I promise that even if your folks decide they hate me, I will always, always love you. And I will never leave your side for as long as I'm still standing."

"We're dating, Morgead. Not going to war."

"We may as well be, if that's how it's going to be from now on."

"Well, how about this? Whenever you're feeling sad about my aunt and uncle being hard on you, just think – somewhere in the state of Oregon, Ash is going through a hell about ten times worse."

"Ha!"

"Because no matter how much of a bad boy you are, Ash will always be more of a horse's ass than you."

"Thank you, my love."

"Anytime, my dear." Jez reached up to ruffle his jet black hair so it fell into his eyes. "Thank you for doing this for me. It was so thoughtful and brave."

Morgead gave her a quick kiss on the lips, and then trotted off to his bike. Jez watched him speed away into the night. Then she went inside to face the music.

She opened the door, made off toward the kitchen, and helped Claire and Ricky do the dishes. It was nerve-wracking; Jez was just waiting for Uncle Jim to call her into the living room so they could have a chat about Morgead.

Exactly twenty-five minutes later, it happened. Jez sullenly marched toward the living room very much like a criminal might walk toward the courtroom to hear their sentence.

Uncle Jim was sitting on the couch with the TV muted. Jez watched naked babies rolling around in towels nervously before Uncle Jim patted the spot beside him. Jez sat down.

"What's the verdict?" she said cheerfully. She had trouble making her voice sound confident, something she was almost always excellent at.

"Well, he's different."

"Yeah, that's what's so great about him."

"Jez," Uncle Jim sighed. "There's no easy way to put this. He just seems shady."

"Shady how?" Jez's fingers were curled into a fist at her side. To keep her hands occupied she started playing with one of the pillows on the couch.

"He drives a motorcycle, his taste in clothing is questionable, he admitted that his grades weren't very good, and he seems like the type you'd have to pay to bail out of jail. Has he ever been in jail before?"

"Only once! And not even for something big! Just…" Jez faltered. "Just public urination. He was drunk when it happened, if that helps."

"That doesn't help, and I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that."

"Okay, fine, I get it, but what about those other things? The bike and the clothes? I don't know if you noticed this, but we're actually very similar in those two departments. And he told you he was working on his grades. And he is."

"His personality as a whole doesn't really…"

"What?" Jez was struggling to keep her voice even. She now had to take care not to rip the pillow she was holding.

"Seem _nice_."

"Please, Uncle Jim. That's not fair. I really, really like this guy. Please give him a chance!" Jez was now clasping her hands together as if appealing to the judge in the courtroom.

Uncle Jim's eyebrows were raised. "I never said I wouldn't."

Jez blinked. Well, that was unexpected. "But everything you just said –"

"Wasn't as important as how he treats you," Uncle Jim finished. "Those are all small things that I can deal with. What's important is that you're dating a boy who thinks you're special and respects you and loves you for who you are. And when that boy looks at you the way he does, I can tell you're going to be just fine."

"Are you serious?"

"Definitely."

"Oh, my Goddess, Uncle Jim! Thank you so much!" Jez threw her arms around him. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, kiddo."

Grinning, Jez turned to leave.

"Oh, and Jez?" Uncle Jim called.

She twisted her neck around to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Don't be mad at your aunt for her comment during dinner tonight. She was just nervous, you know. It's not easy for us to meet your boyfriend, either."

Oh. That had never occurred to her. "For what it's worth," Jez replied thoughtfully, "you did a great job."

Uncle Jim smiled at her. "Thanks."


End file.
